Hi,
Me and my husband decided to file for divorce.
We agreed that both our children will live with me, but our 16th years old daughter prefer to move out and live with her father.

Since we are considering divorce mediation, can she be part of the meetings regarding her living arrangements.
I do feel she has the right to at least be heard.

Would really appreciate your advice in this matter,
Courtney.

Hi Courtney,

I think part of your question has to do with when the experts advise that you involve your child. In general, children 10-13 may be part of the discussion, regarding their schedules for seeing both of their parents - and children 14 and older can have influence on the schedule.

Were you in mediation, I would absolutely (through you) invite your 16 year old to come in to talk to me - either alone, or with the two of you - or both.

Chances are that - were you in court - and your 16 year old expressed a preference to live with her father - unless there were a compelling reason for her not to do so (e.g., he works long hours & she'll be there alone all the time, or he won't provide a place for her to do her homework, or he has a substance abuse problem), she would get the schedule she wants. Children that age often come and go as they please - at least in NYC, where there is easy mass transit.

Hope that answers your question,
Rachel